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The Manipulation of Man
She approaches with a shy smile, a tender heart, and requests that her feelings be reciprocated. For whatever reason, you can’t do this, but you do enjoy the control that you have over her, and you worry that acknowledging her … Continue reading
Posted in Satire, Uncategorized
Tagged love, manipulation, men, passive-aggressive, polar bear, women, you
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Pidgins Take Flight: Campaign against Plain Language
The British Empire has been decaying for decades, but in 1979, English woman Chrissie Maher attempted to rally the troops and lead a resurgence. In that year, Maher stood in London’s Parliament Square and shredded hundreds of public documents in … Continue reading
Posted in Business Communication, Politics, Satire, Uncategorized
Tagged bureaucratese, Chrissie Maher, circumlocution, cliché, Esperanto, gobbledygook, jargon, Klingon, laissez-faire, legalese, lingua franca, pidgin, plain English, synergy, utilize, value-added
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The Absolutely Unbiased Algorithmic Job Interview
Some large enterprises like Fannie Mae, Bank of America, General Motors, or A.I.G. might occasionally be lax in their hiring processes. With such unwieldy organizations, a mistake or two in hiring can happen and isn’t always of much concern, especially … Continue reading
The Undercover Cover Letter
Like so many things related to the job search, cover letters are inconvenient formalities that should be done away with. I predict that someday, a business with enough clout will have the courage to stop asking for them and other … Continue reading
The Many Delusions of C. Auguste Dupin
Other cities would like to claim him, but Baltimore has Poe. There is a society of scholars and devotees who meet to discuss Poe works and a special Poe room in the main branch of our library. There are Poe … Continue reading
Posted in Baltimore, Edgar Allan Poe, Food and Drink, Satire, Uncategorized
Tagged actor, advertising, Americano, Baltimore, Baltimore Sun, Bun Shop, C. Auguste Dupin, copycat, David Franks, Dupin, Edgar Allan Poe, espresso, Evening Sun, France, Jeff Jerome, Jeff Savoye, Long Black Veil, Madame Flame, Mark Redfield, meerschaum, Poe Baltimore, Poe House, Poe Toaster, promotion, Rudolph Valentino, Sam Porpora, Sean Penn, tomb, Urban Legend, Westminster Hall, William Donald Schaefer
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Lobby Observances: The Pre-Interview Job Search Process
l have yet to meet any sane person who wants to work a generic office job, wear taught ties and suit jackets for eight hours a day, sit in broken adjustable chairs, and sniff paper stacks inside gray partitions. Most … Continue reading
Reading Between the Resume Lines
Although I have never hired anyone for a job, I have been very close to a few people who have, and I have witnessed the torments that these employers put themselves through when choosing someone to help build the company … Continue reading
Branding the Offbeat: A Path for 2016
The beauty of blogging is that once you’ve published your post, you can check your “stats” minutes later and see if anyone is looking. I say “looking” because who knows if anyone reads such things. When I visit other blogs, … Continue reading
Posted in Baltimore, Business Communication, Satire, Uncategorized
Tagged Baltimore, bourgeois, branding, Charmin, Charney, ethos, Hansel and Gretel, Kardashian, Macy’s, Maryland, motivational speaking, Mr. Whipple, offbeat, ozonosphere, personal branding
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Charney’s Codification: Prohibitive Perfectionism
This being that most wonderful time of the year, I was at the shopping mall searching for that perfect gift. A few weeks previously, my wife had informed me of her interest in a new leather handbag and gave me … Continue reading
Posted in Business Communication, Satire, Uncategorized
Tagged eponymous law, Macy’s, Murphy’s Law, Nordstrom, Parkinson’s Law, Peter Principle, Plato, Victoria’s Secret
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